Archive for the ‘Emotional Healing’ Category

Many of us must have heard about the parable of the lost son, who took his share of estate from his father, squandered his wealth in wild living, spend all his wealth in wild living. However, many people, in some places most people must have not realized that the main focused and the main highlight of this story Jesus shared was the Father God, the Father heart of God was the main highlight and focus of this story.

Suppose you have a son or daughter, who took all his share of estate, enjoyed life and live a wild living, and then came back all broken. For most of us our respond would be, “What are you doing here?”, “Get out of here”, “Are you not even ashame to come back?”, “Who are you? I know you no more”, “I’ll beat you up”, “Don’t ever come back to this place”, “Get the hell out of here”, “You stupid fool”, “Good for nothing”, “You useless dude”.

Most of us would probably respond in those ways, however the Father here responds very differently in this parable then most of us would respond, because the Father here reflects the Father heart of God.

While he was a long way off, his Father was filled with compassion, he ran to his son, threw his arms around him.
It is important to know here that even before the son open up his mouth and has not shared anything to his Father, from far way off his Father was filled with compassion, ran to his son, and threw his arms around him.

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Then, the Father gave an order to put the best robe upon him, put a ring on his finger, and sandals on his feet, they also have a feast and celebrations.

From this Father we find the compassionate Father, the running Father, the forgiving Father, the hugging Father, the celebrating Father, the God who celebrate over us.

– David Chawngthu

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We created this chart for you, it is taken from “Addicted Behavior Counselling School” (ABC) (Residential Training required) which is a 5-6 months course in the “University of the Nations” under an organization called “Youth with a Mission”.

To do that course, you first need to do “Discipleship Training School” (DTS) established all over the world, (Residential Training required) which is a 5 to 6 months course, and then “Biblical Counselling School” (Residential Training required) which is a 5 to 6 months course, and then you can do this training course if you want.

Anyway, even if you don’t do any of those trainings, this is very simple to know just by looking at this chart. Starting from the Soil of Addictions – Spiritual Abuses, Physical Abuses, Sexual Abuses, Emotional Abuses. And then comes the Roots of Addictions, and then to the Fruits of Addictions.

It is also important to know that there are many other different types of things that can be addicted beside what are written in the Tree of Addictions, however, these are some major stuffs that can be addicted.

It might be helpful for your family, school, orphanage homes, your community, centers and groups.

(Feel free to download the picture)

Addiction tree

ACTIVE AND PASSIVE ABUSES:

Both active and passive abuses can spoil your children.

ACTIVE ABUSES: Hitting, beating, slapping, kicking, bad words, screaming, etc.

PASSIVE ABUSES: Not listening to them, no affection, no provision, no concern, no care, no attentions, no friendship with them, not spending time with them, being too busy.

One example could be when Father and Mother got divorce, it could be part of children abuse for children, and is harmful for children, the pain and anger, the shame, and the loneliness, which are all roots of addictions. Another example could be when children are put in hostel or study camp and they always feel very homesick, that feeling of loneliness also create anger in them, and being away from parents for a long time could be harmful for children and can spoil children.

Abuses are the main roots for most spoiled children, verbal abuses, shutting their mouth, not want to listen to them, lack of concern, being too busy and no presence which may also be known as passive abuses, and other active abuses are the roots of wounded children and spoiled children.

Love your children, they have an emotional needs to spend much time with you. Spend time with them, play with them.

Different types of parenting:

There can be many different types of fathers, mothers, parents, and guardians, we need to be aware of some of the things that can spoil our children –

– Authoritarian parents,
– Too strict parents,
– Perfectionist parents,
– Absent parents,
– Competitive (comparing children with siblings and others, or pushing them too much),
– Far away parents,
– Abusive parents,
– Legalistic parents,
– Critical parents,
– Judgmental parents,

All these things can bring harm and wounds, and carry great amount of weight to spoil children. We need to see our children and other children as the Almighty God sees them, highly precious, highly valuable, deeply loved and concerned, and that’s simply wisdom.

Some emotional needs of children:

Below are some of the emotional needs of your children, in fact every human beings on earth need them, but more needed by children and young one’s –

– Attention (knowing what they doing, being interested in what they interested, playing games with them)
– Acceptance
– Respect
– Healthy Affections
– Friendship
– Your Presence
– Support
– Security
– Provision
– Approval
– Praise, praise, praise
– Appreciations
– Encouragement
– Comfort

– David Chawngthu

It is briefed that 15 times in the Old Testament Bible about Father, and 254 times in the New Testament Bible.

Positive speaking:

If you have practice hearing the voice of God in regularity personally, or if you have been in an environment where you shared together in regularity what God spoke to you, you will experience that most of the time He will speak very simple words to us and very positive, He will speak about how much He loves us, how precious we are to Him, how valuable we are to Him, how He sees us, how He is with us, how He treasure us, how we are the apple of His eyes, His encouragement, His comfort, His strengthening, His uplifting, His appreciations, His praise toward us, how He is proud of us as His son or daughter, all those things are the Heart of the Father God showing to us. through hearing the voice of God.

In the same way, it is important to speak positive things to our children to build healthy emotional health, healthy self image and healthy confident, you are handsome/ beautiful, you are so precious, God gave you to us, appreciations and praise.

Identities In Christ:

If you measure your value and your worth by anything rather than your “Identities in Christ”, either by the positions you hold, by the degrees you have, by the wealth you have, or by your looks, or any other kinds of outward things, you are probably having some kind of Insecurities inside yourself. You will need to know your “Identities in Christ” and meditate on them.

You are a beloved child of the most high God, highly valued and precious.

Knowing and experiencing

Respect, value:

The language that were often spoken to you in your childhood and as you grew up, either Spanish, French, Chinese, Hindi, or English will probably be the language you use in your Adulthood. In the same way, our childhood experiences can greatly affect our adulthood.

If you were treated with respect during your childhood and as you grew up, you are likely to respect children in your adulthood. If you were not respected, you are likely to disrespect children in your character. If you were often abused as a child you are likely to abuse other children in your adulthood. If you were valued as a child and as you grew up, you are likely to value other children.

Experiencing the love of the Father God:

Even if you were dishonored, unrespected, unvalued, feeling unworthy, feeling not precious as a child and as you grew up, knowing and experiencing the love of the Father God can change your character and make you respect and value other children, knowing and experiencing the love of the Father God will make you see children as precious and valuable.

You are a beloved child of the most high God, highly valued and precious.

– David Chawngthu

Pastoral care counselling:

This is a very simple way to do Pastoral care counselling, you might want to help someone, even Jesus Himself came to bind up the broken hearted.

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn.
(Isaiah 61:1-2)

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Luke 4:18-19)

We need to know that there’s a slight difference between pastoral care and pastoral care counselling, but the environment remains the same. One of the most important thing in pastoral care counselling is to listen without judging, it’s a personal time with that person, the counsellor can be one or two, but suggestion is that not more than one or two counsellor at a time, and the person you give counselling must be willing, and not by force.

Sometimes it could be restoration of relationships if necessary, another times helping them to forgive those who have hurt them so that they may be healed.

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Below are some ways you can help people in counselling, and they are Biblical.

5 main steps of pastoral counselling:

1. Sharing and listening: Let them share their childhood, or their hurts, and all that they have gone through, and you listen without judging.

2. Releasing forgiveness: Help them so that they may release forgiveness to the people who have hurt them.

(After they have shared their life, wound and hurts help them speak out forgiveness) Eg: “I forgive you John for abusing me, I forgive you John for doing all those things to me”. (Note: The John he is talking about don’t need to be there, he can just speak out those forgiveness right there at the place of counselling)

3. Blessing prayer: Help them speak out blessing prayer to those who have hurt them.

Eg: “Lord, I speak blessings upon John, may you bless his works and his life. John, I speak blessings upon your life, may your soul prosper, and may your life be blessed, I bless you in the name of Jesus Christ.

4. Pray for the person: Pray for them, and that any strongholds would be broken.

Eg: “I break every strongholds that were made up by the wounds and hurts upon Michael, I break them in the name of Jesus Christ”.

5. Bless them in prayer:

“Thank you Lord for the life of Michael, he has now release his forgiveness and has spoken blessings upon those who have hurt and wounded him, I pray you bless Michael, you bless his soul, you bless his life, you bless his future, may your blessings fall upon him in abundant”.

In counselling, listening to what they have to say, their past, their childhood, present, or future, with an understanding environment, and without being the judge is important.

– David Chawngthu

Children and young people have a soft heart, they are in the process of developing their hearts and emotions, any kinds of punishment done in public is abuse, whether beating, slapping, kneeling down, letting them stand, or any other kinds of punishment, they all are abuse.

1. Any kinds of punishment done in public is abuse, 100% of their problems are to be dealt privately and hiddenly. Abuses are the roots of all kinds of addictions, rebellions, and heart problems. Teachers in Schools do not have any rights before the Lord to punish their children in any form of ways, God has not given them any single authority to punish children.

2. Any kinds of shaming children and young people either before others, in public, or in private is abuse.

3. We are not to react out of angry heart, you need to make sure that your heart is at full rest and with love for the child. When you want to give punishment, that is the indicator of your own heart problem and your anger problem.

4. We are to confront them in private when they need confrontations and corrections, with all kindness and gentleness, without being harsh.

5. If it’s something serious, consult a good counsellor, or bring him to a good counsellor privately who is understanding.

children abuse

– David Chawngthu

Around 10yrs ago, that was probably around 2005 or either early 2006, one of my best friend and I went to church while nobody were there, we bow flat on the floor praying, “Lord, What does ‘Father’ mean?”. We both got no Father as we grew up even though we’ve got a normal family, so we were desperate to know what a “Father” mean.

What’s amazing here is that, few months later and years later, after going to Discipleship Training Schools (DTS) as well as while working in DTS’s, God revealed to me about the Father God in so many different ways, in countless of ways, from DTS , as well as from outside DTS and outside YWAM, and through countless of personal experiences.

These are some of the topics where I started experiencing about the Father God and who He is, they are Highly related topics about the Father God –

– “Characters and Natures of God”, (Around 4 or 5 weeks altogether)
– “Destiny by design”, (Around 2 weeks altogether)
– “Holy Spirit”, (Around 2 weeks)
– “Submission and Authority” (Godly Authority), (Around 3 or 4 weeks altogether)
– “Father Heart of God”, (2 or 3 weeks altogether)
– “Identity in Christ”,
– “Divine Plumbline”, (1 whole week)
– “Family”, (1 whole week)
– “Counsellings – Church planting and leadership”, (1 whole week)
– “DTS leaders and staff trainings”, (Around 2 whole weeks, additional around 2+5 more weeks)
– “Experiencing God” (Around 3 weeks altogether)

These topics are highly related to the Father God, His characters and natures. They are full of good teachings and experiences, there are many extraordinary experiences that my wife and I had experience from these topics, that we learn and experience many things about God and the Father God.

Besides all these, God has also led us into many different experiences where He showed His Fatherhood to us, sometimes sending angels to heal our wounds, there were many times that God has sent His angels to bring healing to my life, sometimes while worship, personal worships, dreams at night, sometimes God showed me many angels who were to minister to people while I preached on the topic of “The Father Heart of God, and other times God showed His Fatherhood through several good books, through hearing the voice of the Lord, through prophetic pictures, prophetic experiences, through conversations with the Lord, through signs, wonders and miracles, through meditating on the word of the Lord, through our own children, through life experiences, through His blessings upon us and through experiencing Him. The Lord has surely answered my prayers and my cry in countless of unimaginable ways, more than expected. Today, if I am to write a book about “Father” or “Fatherhood of God”, I believe I can write a great book, God is good.

Lord, what does father mean

THE FATHER GOD:

The word of God said,

How precious are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
(Psalm 139:17-18)

His thoughts toward us are much more than all the sands of the earth combined together.
Psalm 139:13-18 is a great part of the Bible where we can know about the Father heart of God. You can think, chew and meditate on them, God will surely bless you through these verses and will reveal to you about the Father God.

From all these experiences, countless of teachings and experiences that are highly related to the Father God, and from countless of personal experiences, we can conclude that the Father God is a good Father, He is good to us, He is a forgiving God, slow to anger, abounding in love, compassionate, His desire is to provide all our needs, we are secure in His presence, we can boldly approach Him, we can be who we are in His presence. He give His full attention toward us, He concern for us in every single things, we are greatly precious in His sight, we are highly important and significant in His sight, we are highly valuable in His sight.

The word of God said,

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted. (Isaiah 61:1; Luke 4:18 – Jesus Christ)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). This is the Father heart of God.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1)

While Jesus was on this earth, He said, “Whoever sees me sees the Father”, He was reflecting the Father God, He was carrying the Father Heart of God on this earth.

It is briefed that 15 times in the Old Testament Bible about Father, and 254 times in the New Testament Bible.

– David Chawngthu

– KNet

Children and young people are the treasures of this generation and the next generations, the way we treat them will determine the next generations.

We need to be careful not to harden the hearts of our children and young people, without using harsh words and harsh voice, speaking to them with all gentleness and kindness.

Unconditional Love – To feel loved by parents in good times and bad times, in any condition, which means un-condition. The word of God said in Pro 15:17 – “Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred”. Therefore, the most important thing in a family is the environment of Love.

Affection – A healthy touch can work into the deep emotion and heart, hugging, tap on the shoulders. Mark 9:36-37b – “Taking a child, Jesus set him before them, and TAKING HIM IN HIS ARMS, He said to them, “Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me…..”

Support and provision, feelings of belonging, to feel accepted in the home, to feel secure in the home, appreciations, encouragement – Encouragement build up, strengthen, also provide security and healthy confident.

Approval and Affirmation – Eg: Mark 1:11 – “You are my beloved son, whom I love…”, “This is my dear daughter”.
Attention – Being interested in what they are interested, listening to their hurts, joy, happiness and sadness. When there is an unmet need of attention, feelings of unloved can be born.

Respect – Getting less respect can make people feel unimportant, insignificant, low self image, worthless and unloved. Respect will make them feel loved. The most important thing in a family is the environment of Love.

While you are too busy at work, ministry, business, or other works, be careful that you don’t lost your child along the way. Your children need your attentions, affections, they want to hear your voice, they need your presence, they need you.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, They would outnumber the grains of sand— (Psalm 139:17-18)

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The 9 Fruits of the Holy Spirit:

There are 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit that will be really helpful as we take care of our kids and in the way we treat young people.

These are somethings we all can learn and take a step – Love, Joy – a cheerful heart, peace, patient with them, kind with them, being a good person, being faithful in what we promises to them, with all gentleness and self control.
It is important that we respect kids and young people.

A person is a person no matter how small. – Horton

“The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil”. (Matt 12:35; Luke 6:45)

– David Chawngthu

Fruits